Tuesday, August 7, 2012
i feel like there's some way a blog is supposed to be.
i really just wanna speak my mind.
i have a list of things for me to do before winter comes.
in my head i'm overwhelmed. i think it's just this lack of
energy i have. it's making me crazy. if i try to go on walks,
i feel like i'm going to faint. and i feel like my belly is
growing now. i'm just about 21 weeks now, or 5 months.
i'm already starting to get uncomfortable. and am having
really sore hips. which is weird to me for my hips to be aching.
hopefully i can resolve it before i grow bigger. i don't have
serious nausea anymore FINALLy. but i still can't eat certain
foods or it will just trigger my sick all over again. so far
this pregnancy has NOT been fun at all. and obviously i feel
awkward looking and HUGE already. i want the weather to cool
off so I can start covering up in sweaters and boots.
and this life of mine is just nuts. everyday
i realize something new. about life. about the people i'm
surrounded by. things keep changing. i have never been
more happier with my little family i've got than i am right now.
sometimes i'm just so tired. i don't know how i'm gonna
have two kids. but i'm not too worried about it. i feel like
this is what it's supposed to be. i don't really have any
"baby" stuff yet. but i feel pretty prepared. mentally anyway.
and in my head i have pictured what i want this birth to be
like. that's the biggest part i am scared of. carson's birth
keeps running in my mind and i get scared again.
but i already KNOW that this one will be much different.
and i already have a picture in my mind of what kind of
babe this one is going to be. we'll see.
i love kody so much. i have so much appreciation for him.
he is the only one that truly understands me. and knows
what to do to take care of our family the right way. i can't
wait for him to get home from work today, so i can tell him.