waiting for the storm to pass

I haven't been blogging much.
I sorta shut things down for a while.
I just felt like the internet world was too much.
There's so much evil and hatred on it.
Sometimes when I get on the computer I just
feel like that's all it is. But I love my blog.
I love looking back at how far I've come,
at how much of a great mother I am to my babies
and how much I have accomplished.
My baby Sage is going on 4 months pretty soon.
She is smiling and laughing and so alert and happy
all the time. I love her. My Carson is pushing closer
to age 5 and making me sadder and sadder the more
her grows, but oh so Proud of the sweet little young
boy he's becoming. We go to his kindergarten
orientation next week and I am so nervous, I know
he is more than excited but me, I know I'll just cry
my eyes out when he goes to real school.
We've also been going to church each week and Carson
LOVES his class. He brings home sweet pictures for our
fridge each week. I love it. It feels so good.
I always feel like around me there are so many things going
on and I am always busy. Trying really hard to help
out with my niece and nephew when I can. It's also
been great for me to earn some extra dollars and help out
with money when I can. But also help out with these two
that need me so much. I know we are being watched over.
and things happen for reasons I can't explain.
Despite a lot of crazy things in my life or going on in my head
right now, I feel like I"m right where I need to be.
I hate being judged by people who don't even know my
life or what I have gone through. But I am just going to
be strong and be the bigger person and keep going on.
I'm not perfect, I try really hard. I'm not a lazy stay at home mom.
And I'm a very good loyal wife. I love my family.
I love my brother and sisters and my mom and dad.
They have all done so much and we always stick together.
At times I worry too hard, and let it get the best of me,
but I know that by praying I understand why things happen
the way they do and that soon it will all be ok.
Spring is here. I have been waiting for Spring.
And now it's here. I am happy. I am a good mom.
A good wife. A good sister. And a good person.
I am proud of myself.
 

-byyyyye